Sometimes help comes too late

No one really wants to talk about it, but suicide is the number 2 cause of death for individuals between 10-34 years old, and it remains common for older adults as well. Suicide does not just impact the individual and it sends out shock waves through families and our community. Contrary to popular belief, there are usually signs when it comes to suicide. Suicidal individuals may make comments or gestures about what they plan to do. They do this because some part of them wants help. For those of us who encounter these comments and gestures we should watch for these warning signs:

• Feeling down or depressed. Depression is a major risk factor for suicide.
• Sudden calmness: The person suddenly becomes calm after a period of expressed pain.
• Withdrawing from others: Depression often cuts people off from friends and family
• Changes in physical appearance. Depression can lead people to become more unkempt
• Showing dangerous behavior: The person takes unnecessary risks.
• Experiencing recent trauma: Examples of crises include the death of a loved one or pet, divorce or break-up of a relationship, diagnosis of a major illness, loss of a job or serious financial problems. It is especially risky if the person recently experienced a suicide in friends, family and sometimes even the media.
• Being in a state of deep despair: The person talks about feeling hopeless, having no reason to live, being a burden to others - feeling like the would help others by ending their own life, feeling trapped or being in severe emotional pain.
• Making preparations: The person begins to put their personal business in order. This might include visiting friends and family members, giving away personal possessions, making a will and cleaning up their room or home. Often the person will search online for ways to die or buy a gun. Some people will write a note before attempting suicide, but not everyone does this.
• Threatening suicide or talking about wanting to die: Not everyone who is considering suicide will say so, and not everyone who threatens suicide will follow through with it. However, every threat of suicide should be taken seriously.

*Adapted from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/11352-recognizing-suicidal-behavior

​The best thing that you can do if you see these signs in friends and loved ones is to start the conversation. Do not wait for them to bring up suicide or depression. Some people openly express this but not everyone does. If you find out that someone is suicidal please act quickly. If you know that someone is about to end their life you may decide to call 911 and express your concerns. There are also crisis centers that you could take this person. In the Palm Desert area one location is RI International ​(442) 268-7000. There are also 24 hour hotlines for Suicide like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255. The most important thing  you can do for a suicidal friend or family member is to listen and ask questions. 

---