Do you find yourself paying a price for porn?
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I am not talking about a monthly subscription, but pornography addiction has real consequences. You may find yourself slowly losing relationships, self-esteem and even your job.
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Counseling for porn users and their spouses to live authentic and intimate lives together.
Counseling from a christian perspective
Each day we are becoming a creature of splendid glory or one of unthinkable horror
-C.S. Lewis
-C.S. Lewis
"If you knew what I've done,
you wouldn't love me"
We help you find freedom from shame
The difference between shame and guilt is the difference between "I am bad" and "I did something bad"
-Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW
-Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW
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counselors
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With help, you cAN BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE
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5 SIGNS OF PORN ADDICTION
1. Watching porn for longer than you mean to 2. Tried to cut down or quit porn and couldn't do it 3. Thinking about porn when you are not watching porn 4. Missing important life activities because you are looking at porn 5. Continuing to look at porn even though you have had serious consequences from it. If you answered yes to any of these questions you may have an addiction to pornography. 5 SIGNS YOUR PARTNER IS
HOOKED ON PORN 1. Your partner doesn't want to have sex 2. Your partner doesn't seem "present" 3. Your partner is always online 4. Your partner seems no longer attracted to you 5. You can never get a straight answer from your partner |
THROUGH COUNSELING YOU WILL
1. Live a life that matches your values 2. Have more intimate connection with the people around you 3. Improve your anxiety and depression 4. Have better sex 5. Like the person you see in the mirror The decision to get help is a big one and it is the most important decision you will face in recovery. SPECIALIZED TREATMENT FOR
PARTNERS Scion Counseling works with porn users but also helps partners begin to
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PORN ADDICTION IS ON A SPECTRUM
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Not everyone struggling with porn is exactly the same. They turn to porn for different reasons but usually those reasons involve coping. Coping skills are normally referencing something positive but sometimes people turn to substances or behaviors to heal wounds, distract them from difficulties in life, or just get through the day. Usually, this use of porn goes way back all the way to puberty and sometimes before that. Some porn addicts can trace their porn use to their own personal trauma, which can include childhood sexual abuse. However, unlike other sex addicts, porn addicts do not tend to have a significant trauma histories and most porn addicts have never been abused.
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THE CONNECTION TO SEXUAL OFFENDING
Porn addicts are definitely on a spectrum and there are many differences between individuals. However, if left untreated, porn addiction can always get worse. Many men report their addictions changing over time. In the beginning, they were content to view mainstream pornography a few times a week. This pattern can become more frequent and create a strong interest in disturbing sexual content. In some cases, this interest can be focused on children and teens. Scion Counseling is equipped to work with everyone on the spectrum of porn addiction, including those who have been viewing illegal pornography. Scion Counseling is certified with the California Sex Offender Management Board (CASOMB) to provide sex offender specific treatment. Check out our sex offender program.
Porn addicts are definitely on a spectrum and there are many differences between individuals. However, if left untreated, porn addiction can always get worse. Many men report their addictions changing over time. In the beginning, they were content to view mainstream pornography a few times a week. This pattern can become more frequent and create a strong interest in disturbing sexual content. In some cases, this interest can be focused on children and teens. Scion Counseling is equipped to work with everyone on the spectrum of porn addiction, including those who have been viewing illegal pornography. Scion Counseling is certified with the California Sex Offender Management Board (CASOMB) to provide sex offender specific treatment. Check out our sex offender program.
Don't let porn cost you everything |
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PORN EFFECTS CHILDREN AND YOUTH TOO
The average age for the exposure of children to hard-core pornography is 13 yrs old. Some children are exposed to it as early as 5 yrs old and this exposure has become all the more common as children use the internet unmonitored (apa, 2017). Many of the children and youth impacted by pornography will struggle with porn addiction as adults. Another problematic sexual behavior that is becoming more popular with youth is sexting, which refers to sending text, pictures or videos with sexual content. Like adults, youth will say and do things online that they would never do in person. Scion Counseling works with youth, parents, schools and churches to address the sexual behavior in youth. |
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YOUTH CAN BE SEX OFFENDERS TOO
At Scion Counseling, our goal is to help address problematic sexual behaviors before those behaviors become illegal, but that is not always possible. If your child is struggling with sexual behaviors, please don't wait to get help. If your child is already in legal jeopardy due to their sexual behaviors then please know that it is not too late to get help. Scion Counseling is certified by the state of California to provide counseling services to adults and juveniles. We are CASOMB certified. Recent research shows that youth should not be taken out of their homes or communities unless there is no other choice. Many parents consider sending their children to wilderness programs to help deal with these problems. Often, these programs are physically and emotionally abusive to youth. Also, taking youth out of their families and communities removes their social support, which is necessary for them to make positive changes. Please know that that this strategy of sending teenagers somewhere to "get fixed" tends to cause more damage than it ever helps. Scion Counseling offers a completely online counseling experience and teens can remain in their families, school and communities while they get the treatment that they need. Please check more information on multisystemic therapy for juvenile sex offenders (MST).
At Scion Counseling, our goal is to help address problematic sexual behaviors before those behaviors become illegal, but that is not always possible. If your child is struggling with sexual behaviors, please don't wait to get help. If your child is already in legal jeopardy due to their sexual behaviors then please know that it is not too late to get help. Scion Counseling is certified by the state of California to provide counseling services to adults and juveniles. We are CASOMB certified. Recent research shows that youth should not be taken out of their homes or communities unless there is no other choice. Many parents consider sending their children to wilderness programs to help deal with these problems. Often, these programs are physically and emotionally abusive to youth. Also, taking youth out of their families and communities removes their social support, which is necessary for them to make positive changes. Please know that that this strategy of sending teenagers somewhere to "get fixed" tends to cause more damage than it ever helps. Scion Counseling offers a completely online counseling experience and teens can remain in their families, school and communities while they get the treatment that they need. Please check more information on multisystemic therapy for juvenile sex offenders (MST).
How can we help your teen? |
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A program for porn addicts and their spouses
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Scion Counseling offers specialized treatment for sex addicts, porn addicts and their spouses. In most circumstances, couples come to counseling after there has been a discovery- a spouse finding porn on the computer or even learning about an affair. When counseling begins, the first thing spouses want to know is everything. What they are asking for is called formal disclosure and it is a complicated process in which the addict discloses everything that they have done (sexually) while in their committed relationship. This is a process and it takes approximately 6 weeks of treatment to be ready to do disclosure. It is recommended that the spouse receive their own counseling for preparation and ongoing support.
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For spouses, learning about porn and sex addiction is traumatic and at Scion Counseling we have trained therapists that specialize in helping spouses work through the pain of infidelity. Please know that, as a spouse, you will not have the same counselor as your partner and your counselor will provide treatment with your goals and concerns in mind. Our goal is to help spouses heal while porn/sex addicts take steps in their recovery to refrain from sexually acting out and to avoid pain and loss in the future. Partners need to realize that sexual behavior may be out of control, especially early on in treatment. Most of the time, porn addicts do not simply stop what they are doing but there is an overall trend toward ending the problematic sexual behavior altogether. As the addict begins to gain mastery over the skills required to sustain recovery, partners are encouraged to explore their own reaction to this betrayal and consider steps for moving forward. Our goal is for couples to stay together and work through addiction and betrayal together, whenever possible.
Couples often ask how long it will take for their relationship to get back to normal. Sadly, there is no getting back to normal. Addiction and betrayal change relationships. This does not mean that you will not have a fulfilling relationship with each other, it just means that your relationship will change. Many couples find a more authentic and loving relationship after treatment than they ever had before.
Spouses need help too |
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A science based program with your faith in mind
We are often asked if this is a faith based program. The answer is not a simple one. Our program is based on science with hard evidence that these methods work for most porn addicts and their families. However, we are Christians and our faith informs our practice. Religious counseling programs often attempt to help porn addicts by amplifying feelings of guilt. It is true that a little guilt can be motivating in treatment. However, a lot of guilt is overwhelming. The other issue with this philosophy is that it may amplify shame. Shame is feeling bad about who you are and not just bad about what you have done. It is very difficult to fight a battle when you are the enemy.
Our focus is on changing the way that you think about yourself, other people and the world around (and yes, even your problem) in order to make real changes in your behavior. This will also change how you feel going forward. We offer coping skills that are healthy, positive and even fun to do. Relationships tend to be a lot better when you are not always apologizing for yourself. Recovery does not happen over night and there are usually bumps in the road but with perseverance you can win this battle.
Our focus is on changing the way that you think about yourself, other people and the world around (and yes, even your problem) in order to make real changes in your behavior. This will also change how you feel going forward. We offer coping skills that are healthy, positive and even fun to do. Relationships tend to be a lot better when you are not always apologizing for yourself. Recovery does not happen over night and there are usually bumps in the road but with perseverance you can win this battle.
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” - Romans 5:3-4
A STRUCTURED APPROACH TO TREATMENT
Have you ever spent time in a therapy session and left wondering what you were supposed to get out of it? Therapy or counseling can be life changing but to help you navigate recovery through porn addiction counseling needs to be structured. Our program is designed to last six months, which is the toughest time in the recovery from sex addiction. Much of the change happens in the first 90 days but change does not happen over night. You will find that an average counseling session focuses on
- the successes or struggles that you have had recently
- underlying issues - trying to answer the question WHY you have turned to porn
- Discuss content area - learn important new skills
- Apply skills to your recovery this week
- Complete homework assignments in your workbook. Our workbook is a compilation of evidence based interventions
TRAUMA INFORMED TREATMENT
Most porn addicts do not have a lot of trauma in their lives, but some do. Our treatment is trauma informed, which means that we will work with you to identify hurts and fears that hold you back and keep you stuck. Advanced trauma intervention is offered through Scion Counseling and may be recommended by your counselor. Check our EMDR program for more information.
HOW DO YOU MEASURE SUCCESS?
Most people in recovery from pornography view success as not looking at porn. However, true success in treatment is measured by actively doing things to stay in recovery and not just abstaining from porn. Relapses in porn addiction can be anticipated when individuals stop treatment, stop accountability relationships and become cavalier about their devices. Even if you are new to recovery and you have not been able to quit porn, just the fact that you are continuing to participate in treatment and therapeutic recommendations means that you are already on the road to success.
success starts with one click |
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Aftercare
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Clients often ask how long will treatment last. Everyone is different and there is no perfect answer to that question. At Scion Counseling, our program for porn addicts and spouses is 6 months of weekly individual sessions with occasional family sessions. Upon completion of this 6 months of individual treatment, porn addicts are encouraged to transition to weekly group participation as way to maintain the changes accomplished in individual treatment. Group participation is encouraged for another 6 months of treatment. It should be noted that this is only a recommendation and it may not suit everyone's individual needs. Please contact us for more information about our program and out clinical recommendations so that you will have everything you need to continue your journey. If you are transitioning from another therapist or program, you may also qualify for group treatment.
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