LOVE MAPS

Gottman defines a “love map” as “that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life.” Knowing your partner not only deepens your bond, but also prepares you better for stressful events and conflict. Enhancing your Love Maps is just about building your friendship on an intimate level. Research shows that the determining factor in whether wives and husbands feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is, by 70%, the quality of the couple’s friendship. Ask your partner about their day and remember the little things about them. In times of conflict and despair, it will be your intimate friendship that strengthens your relationship.

THE LOVE MAPS 20 QUESTIONS GAME
Now that you understand the importance of building Love Maps and have assessed the quality of you and your partner’s current Love Maps, play a fun, light-hearted game with your partner. The more you play, the more you’ll learn about the Love Maps concept and how to apply it to your relationship. Each of you should ask your partner the questions below. If your spouse answers correctly (you be the judge), he or she receives a point. If your partner responds incorrectly, neither of you receives any points. The same rules apply when you answer. The winner is the person with the higher score after you’ve both answer all twenty questions.

Questions:
1. Name two of my closest friends
2. What is my favorite musical group, composer, or instrument?
3. What was I wearing when we first met?
4. Name one of my hobbies.
5. Where was I born?
6. What stresses am I facing right now?
7. Describe in detail what I did today, or yesterday.
8. When is my birthday?
9. What is the date of our anniversary?
10. Who is my favorite relative?
11. What is my fondest unrealized dream?
12. What is my favorite website?
13. What is one of my greatest fears or disaster scenarios?
14. What kind of present would I like best?
15. What makes me feel most competent?
16. What was my favorite vacation?
17. What is my favorite meal?
18. What is my favorite way to spend an evening?
19. What is my favorite color?
20. What personal improvements do I want to the least?

* From Gottman