What is it?
In an emotionally intimate relationship, powerful attachments and bonds are shaped. Not only does the bond let us know that we are understood, unconditionally accepted, and appreciated, it tells us we are safe. Betrayal by an intimate partner shatters these core human needs and desires. It pulls apart the core assumptions upon which all enduring relationships must rest.
Why does it hurt so much?
Betrayal by people you care about hurts because it destroys your self-esteem. If you are to get over this pain, which may be extremely difficult, it may require readjusting your values.
It might be necessary to begin to reassess who you thought their life partner was and what you thought "was unique" about your life and your marriage/relationship. The betrayed partner will look at how they learned to trust and then interpret what this betrayal means about them and their attractiveness and worthiness. Finally, they can start to imagine what their life might be like in the future considering the dramatic and traumatic events that have occurred.
Can you heal from betrayal from an intimate partner? For healing to take place, the betrayed partner needs, from the person who has broken their trust, to feel heard, understand, and reassured. It requires tangible evidence that you are faithful and working on recovery. You are accessible, open, and actively engaged in the relationship. If you struggle to show empathy to your partner and their needs, then reach out to your therapist for help. Find a clinician who specializes in Partner Betrayal Trauma to help educate you.
Symptoms of Intimate Partner Betrayal Trauma
· Feeling overwhelmed.
· Withdrawal & isolation.
· Difficulty concentrating.
· Difficulty regulating intense emotions.
6 Ways to Heal Betrayal Trauma
1. Do not blindly blame yourself.
2. It's okay to look back on the relationship to find things you would have done differently.
3. Avoid rebound relationships.
4. Seek out success.
5. Take care of your physical health.
6. Think about keeping a daily journal.